CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

These are all from when I was very young, like 1st grade and younger
  1. Standing on my front porch with my sister and our friends while wearing forest green overalls and we were putting buckets on our heads?
  2. Doing a solo in my kindergarten play and being so nervous I could only mumble and rub the microphone stand
  3. Laying on my parents bed in the middle of the night (while they were sleeping obviously) and pretending to throw up and then ACTUALLY vomiting all over them
  4. Now that we're on the subject of vomit, I remember my mom being super sick and throwing up and I walked into the bathroom to find out that not only did she not flush after she threw up, she threw up the entire can of peach slices she had eaten and I kid you not every single one of those little bitches were still WHOLE
  5. Walking out of the shower and putting on my cool ass new shower robe for the first time and walking out into the dining room where my mom was with all of her friends and all of them being like "OHHHH WHAT A FASHIONISTA!" "Oh look at this little model!" And feeling so fucking COOL
  6. Running 2 laps around the house (the kitchen, dining room, and living room walkways formed a circle) and then slamming into the recliner chair and falling backwards in it
  7. Telling my sister she was adopted and her REALLY REALLY believing it and literally not even wanting to be in the same room as me cuz she was scared of me
  8. Copying down EVERY SINGLE WORD about snails from the encyclopedia on our very first computer
  9. Getting literally fucking drop kicked at day care and not being able to breathe for like 2 minutes (was probably only about 5 seconds but it felt like ETERNITY)
  10. Having a specific heat vent in the house I put all my garbage in. Popsicle sticks, candy wrappers, old markers that didn't work anymore, you name it
  11. Getting my new bike and riding it around the flag pole at school to show it off and look cool but instead I cut the corner too fast, hit the concrete around the pole, fell off my bike and bit through my lip
  12. Speaking of bikes....this one was from 8th grade but it's so vivid I can never get rid of it. Riding my bike down the street with my friend (who I had made fun of all day for not being able to ride her bike that well) and we see a bunch of college students outside so we're trying to play it cool. I hit a rock, FLIP OVER MY HANDBARS,
  13. (cont.) and land in that weird position where you're on your ass but your legs are spread wide as fuck and you kind of get whiplash from your body going forward but your legs stopping you, and fucking PEE MY PANTS!!!!!!!! All the college boys asked if I was ok but I was too busy peeing and crying and running away