SIGNS OF MY ANGER
I feel like I'm yelling when I do it in all caps now but I just like the way it looks better. I started forming this list in my notes a long time ago but I'm so pissed off right now that I thought it was the perfect time to finally complete it
- •My emotions show on my face super easily so you'll be able to see furrowed eyebrows, SUPER tightly clenched teeth, and glaring eyesI also know my emotions pop out of my face so it'll go back and forth between the above and a half-assed attempt at a normal face
- •If you hear loud noises I'm definitely punching or kicking somethingIt's the only thing I can do to REALLY get the anger out - but usually I like to punch a bed or pillow so it's not super loud but today I chose the floor and the side of hand hurts like a mofo
- •Some sort of yelling - whether to myself or to someone's faceI'm not a confrontational person so 95% of the time this involves me excusing myself outside to scream to excusing myself or the bathroom so I can look myself in the eye and angry whisper for a few minutes
- •That's all the external stuff so here's the internal
- •I can feel waves of heat just pulsing through my bodyThe temp and frequency depends on how mad I am
- •I have to shit instantly, like my stomach is squeezing super tight or somethingDidn't they do a study where it shows temp or energy changes in the body when you felt certain emotions and almost all the energy from anger collects in your stomach area?
- •It's hard to breatheProbably cuz of all the clenching and squeezing going on
- •Sometimes when I get SUPER mad, for like 30 seconds it feels like my head is going to explode and I get a huge headache and I get irrational and really want to fuck people/things upExamples of this have been when I almost beat the shit out of my sister with a frying pan (the look on her face when she saw me about to do it made me stop though), when I kicked my sister clear out the camper, when I busted my tennis racket into a figure 8 etc
- •It's not often I get mad because I like to distance myself from that garbage but if I was around it often enough I think I could have some real anger issues
- •But in general I'm super happy and super positive
- •Backstory if ya wanna know: my gf left for the summer and instead of taking the little dresser with all her clothes in it, she took MY dresser with all my stuff meticulously organized (serious freak about my clothes), took it all out, and jammed all the clothes into one drawer of the dresser that I can't STAND because it smells like old woodTo which she responded "what's the big deal?"