DIET BOOKS I AM READY TO WRITE

  1. "Don't get a flu shot and just wait for February to roll around"
    No appetite+vomiting+diarrhea YES PLEASE
  2. "Drink yourself skinny"
    Nothing says healthy dieting quite like blacking out drunk, vomiting because of alcohol intake, and (if you're willing to go all out) a good ole fashion STOMACH PUMP
  3. "Be stressed out 100% of the time"
    This may only work for some as many people stress eat, but for those of us with mad stress diarrhea it's the perfect diet plan
  4. "Sweat yourself to sleep"
    3 blankets? Check! Winter sweater and fleece pajama bottoms? Check! Ready to sleep in a pool of your own sweat and dehydrate yourself to a point where it becomes a health hazard? Check! Goodbye water weight and hello flat tummy!
  5. "Have no job during college so you're forced to eat your meals in the cafeteria rather than grab dinner out"
    Cafeteria food is rarely edible, a sure fire way to lose those extra pounds
  6. "Don't diet and eat what you want as long as you feel comfortable with your own body and realize that many diets are unhealthy and making good food choices and exercising regularly is your best option"
    A working title