My Dad's Best Tweets

  1. Pelp
    He tried to yelp people he knew, but upon learning that Yelp doesn't allow you to do that, created the hashtags "pelp" and now tweets his reviews (also, her meatloaf is v dry)
  2. Okay, but this is actually a pretty good idea
  3. Note the skully hashtag
    We're an X-Files family and we ❤️ Skully
  4. (6 retweets, 9 favorites.. 6, 9... 69)
  5. It's not an "if I win" it's a "when I win"
    Can he and his friends get a Real Housewives type of show???
  7. He really did have a dog die this way
    And he paused the Simpsons mid episode to take this picture
  8. Someone decode this for me pls
  9. 50% of his tweets are complaints directed at ATT
    The subtle "You are the devil"
  10. The other 50% are directed at Gov Mike Pence
    Last year he attempted to pass a bill legalizing discrimination against gays and my dad proceeded to tweet him every day for weeks
  11. More Mike Pence tweets
  12. Oh, and another one!
  13. He said this in the car, laughed really hard, and then I checked Twitter and this was on my feed
  14. Happy 4th of July!!!!!
  15. Ryan *Lochte
    A tweet for a very niche audience as you had to be familiar not only with who Ryan Lochte was but you also had to know that he's an idiot
  16. Grumpy cat did not follow him
    It was a grumpy cat fan page account
  17. If you're lou782, I would consider going into hiding
    But know, he will find you