This list could also be titled "My Work Ethic"
  1. I never go back in after I put in my two weeks
    I get that I am supposed to work the next two weeks but also, I quit, so it's not like they're going to fire me for not showing up
  2. "Bathroom Breaks"
    When I want to reply to a text/not work I take a quick trip to the bathroom
  3. Employee discount
    I take full advantage of it and then some
  4. Just your general not doing my assigned job
    Send me downstairs, on my own, to size and finger space the dresses? Chances are I will read the entire bridal book we have on display from front to back instead
  5. Not caring about sales
    A woman came into the store the other day and said "I feel like you're the first actual human being I've met in one of these stores. Thank you for not trying to sell us on a dress." I know she meant it as a compliment, but also, my job is to sell her on a dress.
  6. Excuses (well thought out) to not do a part of my job
    This was a past job in which my boss told me I needed to be on the lookout for thieves and I explained "The whole point of stealing is to take something and get away with it. They can't get away with it if I see, so how do you expect me to catch them?"
  7. Guilt others into covering my shift
    Saying things like "I have a group project due and this is the only day they can meet to work" and "I would do this for you if you were in my position". The reality is that I usually just want my Saturday off to watch reruns of the Office
  8. Shit talking customers
    You can almost guarantee that if you were really rude our entire staff shit talked you and most likely continues to do so to this day