MY MOM'S NEW CELL PHONE

I love my mom. A lot. 💖 However, I hate her new phone. 😱
  1. My 76 year old Mom decided she needed a new smartphone
    Some older-ish people are awesome with technology. She, however, is not. She even likes to say she isn't. She has had a basic cell phone for YEARS "for emergencies" and never once learned how to send a text or set up voicemail. So whyyyy?
  2. My mom recently became weirdly obsessed with The Vampire Diaries
    My 26yo daughter and I have a suspicion this is what led to the whole "I need a new phone" fiasco. In particular, we suspect it is my mom's slighlty odd crush on Ian Somerhalder and wanting to see his Facebook page.😨 Seriously, Mom?
  3. My mom doesn't want to let anyone in her house, but wants internet access.
    She'd been going to the library. She thought the phone was a great workaround. She knew we had Internet on our phones, so she just needed a phone, and viola!
  4. But she has no idea how to use it
  5. Not even as a PHONE
    She only knows how to call people 26yo has put into her contacts. She will call me up yelling "HOW DO I MAKE A CALL?!?"
  6. This is NOT for lack of us explaining it to her. Repeatedly. Patiently.
    She carries a big yellow legal pad with directions. Because that's convenient!
  7. She will use her landline to call me so I can walk her thru (again) making a call.
    And it is sort of important to note here that I am not even in the same state nor have I ever seen her phone. So picture her on a corded to the wall landline, calling my cellphone, and then me trying to walk her thru using her cell by calling my 14yo kid's cellphone for practice. This is pretty much the most un-fun family game ever. Well except for Monopoly.
  8. Don't even let's discuss the "How do I text?" lessons
  9. Followed by her asking me if I "chirped"
    C'mon. This doesn't even sound real. I promise you it is.
  10. She *is* getting better at making phone calls, especially when she is actually trying to text. 🙄
    Not necessarily to the right person.
  11. And her purse has successfully called me quite a few times. 👜📱
  12. Now back to Facebook
    The real troublemaker...
  13. She doesn't want to actually JOIN Facebook. She thinks it is unsafe. And doesn't want to give out any personal information. But is very upset that she can't see OTHER PEOPLE'S pages without joining.
    Specifically, I would guess, Ian Somerhalder's page. Also, I have learned firsthand that if you jokingly call her "a stalker" she gets really, really mad. Whoops.🤕
  14. But she's my Mom and I love her and the whole thing kinda makes me giggle and so I will continue to help her.
    But I am not giving her my Twitter handle. Ever.