I'm not bitchy, I'm just exhausted
  1. I have Panic Disorder.
    This is like the Supersize version of Anxiety
  2. With Agoraphobia
    Which technically means "fear of open spaces" but for me pretty much "being away from home" covers it
  3. It's a lot better than it was a few years ago
    There was a time I couldn't make it to the end of the driveway. Or the mailbox.
  4. It started when I was about 19
  5. Then got better for a long time
    I was able to go to college, go on Archaeological digs in the middle of nowhere, have a job, etc...
  6. Then got worse again
    Like can't leave the house kind of worse.
  7. It finally got better enough after a lot of meds & exposure therapy that I started being able to go out at least a little bit.
  8. Yay
  9. I knew I needed to go to the Dentist as I hadn't for awhile
    A fear of dentists is pretty common. I am not actually afraid of dentists or shots or pain...it is the idea of being stuck in the chair and unable to leave. :(
  10. I needed a couple fillings
  11. The teeth didn't hurt.
    But I was trying to be proactive. I think this is almost the worst part.
  12. The first ones went okay
  13. The next ones did NOT
  14. The Dentist damaged the nerves in my face.
    This is a rare thing to happen like this.
  15. But it wasn't discovered that that was the issue right away
    Because it's rare. I'm a special snowflake.
  16. So a lot more work was done in the area, causing further damage to the nerves (and making the actual problem worse.)
  17. It was finally a Neurologist who figured it out.
  18. I have Trigeminal Neuralgia. It is also called "The Suicide Disease".
  19. The nerves in the left side of my face, from my ear, up to my eye, and down into my mouth/teeth/gums/tongue hurt pretty much all the time.
    Talking, smiling, laughing, chewing, eating...sitting and doing absolutely nothing...🤕...Chronic Pain pretty much sucks
  20. I have to take a few different meds now a few times a day.
    Love-Hate Relationship with meds...they are one of my panic triggers
  21. Needless to say this has had a bit of a negative effect on the whole Panic Disorder thing...
  22. In September it will be a year since this happened.
  23. I get scared...
  24. ...that it won't get better
    Nerves take a very long time to heal
  25. ...of the medicine I have to take
  26. ...of being a lousy mom. Because I hurt so I worry I am not always as patient or attentive as I should be
  27. I'm lucky though
  28. Because I have a supportive and understanding Husband 💖
  29. And sweet and understanding Kids💖💖💖
  30. Anyway this is sort of a downer list so sorry about that.😳
  31. But I did want to tell you all how great finding Li.st has been.
  32. Distractions help.
    For a long time I couldn't even read.
  33. And the people here are generally quite awesome.
  34. So, thank you.
  35. 💖