PANIC DISORDER, AGORAPHOBIA, & TRIGEMINAL NEURALGIA or NO I CAN'T JUST GET OVER IT

I'm not bitchy, I'm just exhausted
  1. •
    I have Panic Disorder.
    This is like the Supersize version of Anxiety
  2. •
    With Agoraphobia
    Which technically means "fear of open spaces" but for me pretty much "being away from home" covers it
  3. •
    It's a lot better than it was a few years ago
    There was a time I couldn't make it to the end of the driveway. Or the mailbox.
  4. •
    It started when I was about 19
  5. •
    Then got better for a long time
    I was able to go to college, go on Archaeological digs in the middle of nowhere, have a job, etc...
  6. •
    Then got worse again
    Like can't leave the house kind of worse.
  7. •
    It finally got better enough after a lot of meds & exposure therapy that I started being able to go out at least a little bit.
  8. •
    Yay
  9. •
    I knew I needed to go to the Dentist as I hadn't for awhile
    A fear of dentists is pretty common. I am not actually afraid of dentists or shots or pain...it is the idea of being stuck in the chair and unable to leave. :(
  10. •
    I needed a couple fillings
  11. •
    The teeth didn't hurt.
    But I was trying to be proactive. I think this is almost the worst part.
  12. •
    The first ones went okay
  13. •
    The next ones did NOT
  14. •
    The Dentist damaged the nerves in my face.
    This is a rare thing to happen like this.
  15. •
    But it wasn't discovered that that was the issue right away
    Because it's rare. I'm a special snowflake.
  16. •
    So a lot more work was done in the area, causing further damage to the nerves (and making the actual problem worse.)
  17. •
    It was finally a Neurologist who figured it out.
  18. •
    I have Trigeminal Neuralgia. It is also called "The Suicide Disease".
  19. •
    The nerves in the left side of my face, from my ear, up to my eye, and down into my mouth/teeth/gums/tongue hurt pretty much all the time.
    Talking, smiling, laughing, chewing, eating...sitting and doing absolutely nothing...🤕...Chronic Pain pretty much sucks
  20. •
    I have to take a few different meds now a few times a day.
    Love-Hate Relationship with meds...they are one of my panic triggers
  21. •
    Needless to say this has had a bit of a negative effect on the whole Panic Disorder thing...
  22. •
    In September it will be a year since this happened.
  23. •
    I get scared...
  24. •
    ...that it won't get better
    Nerves take a very long time to heal
  25. •
    ...of the medicine I have to take
  26. •
    ...of being a lousy mom. Because I hurt so I worry I am not always as patient or attentive as I should be
  27. •
    I'm lucky though
  28. •
    Because I have a supportive and understanding Husband 💖
  29. •
    And sweet and understanding Kids💖💖💖
  30. •
    Anyway this is sort of a downer list so sorry about that.😳
  31. •
    But I did want to tell you all how great finding Li.st has been.
  32. •
    Distractions help.
    For a long time I couldn't even read.
  33. •
    And the people here are generally quite awesome.
  34. •
    So, thank you.
  35. •
    💖