HOW I FEEL EVERY TIME A RELATIVE STRANGER ASKS ME WHEN I'M GOING TO GET MARRIED

Potentially significant detail: I've been with my boyfriend for about five years 💑
  1. PERPLEXED
    Is my lifestyle really that upsetting? Do you have a very narrow & specific Puritanical streak that has resulted in you digging recreational weed but being super put off by a single woman in her late 20s?
  2. INDIGNANT (PART I)
    Like a pregnant woman who's sick of having strangers grab her belly. What the fuck business is it of yours? Have several seats.
  3. SAD
    I'm in the healthiest, happiest, most stable relationship of my life. I feel like most people are so busy scrambling to try to fit me & my life into a socially-acceptable box that they manage to miss this v. important detail.
  4. ANXIOUS
    The very idea of planning an entire day centered around a bunch of people watching breathlessly as I enter some room in a huge white dress makes me want a Xanax or three.
  5. LIKE AN ALIEN
    I don't think I need to get married to feel complete? Why does everyone care so goddamn much?
  6. INDIGNANT (PART II)
    On boyfriend's behalf. Because I get asked questions like when are we going to get married, but people ask him why he hasn't proposed yet and he needs to lock it down and what's his damage, etc. TL/DR: People pity me for being unmarried, but they think he's a chump for not proposing.
  7. LIKE A BEAUTIFUL STRONG-WILLED UNICORN
    Making my own goddamn choices, unfettered by social norms.