THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T ANNOY ME BUT TOTALLY DO

  1. When people use the term "like crack" or "cracked out" in reference to food.
    Nope.
  2. Instagram posts with overly flowery/particularly purple prose.
    Like I come to Insta to see pictures of your dinner and cute puppies? / not to listen to your thoughts on how the shifting seasons feed your soul just because you were a creative writing major in college? / I know I'm a monster
  3. When ppl 'ship their infants
    "This is our eight-month-old Xavier & his girlfriend Brooklynn! We're gonna show this pic at their wedding! Our babies are totally attracted to each other and are definitely definitely heterosexual!" Sry/not sry: y're gross
  4. Grown-ass folks saying they have to "tinkle"
    Sub-grievance: Anyone who calls it the "little girl's/boy's room"