THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU'RE AN ADULT COLLEGE STUDENT

  1. Every time you hear a classmate's birth year you'll be like "that's not even possible, five year olds can't attend college"
  2. You're not sure whether to be insulted or happy when someone doesn't believe you're 27
    Like? Do I look young or are you trying to say I'm immature?
  3. Inevitably at least one professor who is no more than 5 years older than you will make jokes about "your generation"
    Sorry buddy, I'm closer to your generation than these young whippersnappers
  4. That same professor will also bring up some music or movie from the 90s or early 2000s and ask if anyone has heard of it
    No. No one has ever seen Empire Records. Just you. Only you.
  5. You quickly come to the realization that no matter what codes of conduct say, it would probably be more appropriate for you to date a professor than a fellow student
    Not the one who keeps talking about "your generation" though, because that shit is just annoying.
  6. Strict attendance policies will make you regret going back to school.
    I AM AN ADULT I'VE WORKED IN THE "REAL WORLD" THEY DON'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU COME IN WITH THE FLU
  7. On that note, you'll roll your eyes so hard every time someone mentions "the real world" and they are not talking about the show (and maybe even if they are)
    NO, PLEASE, TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS MYSTICAL PLACE
  8. People are shocked when you tell them you live alone.
    Look, I'm 27. I've reached the point in my life where I want to be able walk around naked whenever I want and that is not something most roommates appreciate, ok
  9. Any feelings of being old or out of place are easily fixed by the realization that you can get alcohol whenever you want without going through someone else
    But no, I won't buy it for you, I'm 27 not 20 with a fake ID
  10. You will find yourself muttering about youths at least twice a day, often more
    Why are you bragging about how drunk you got last night you are twelve
  11. The urge to tell someone to put a damn coat on it is ten degrees outside you fool will be overwhelming at times
    Even though you totally didn't wear a coat when you were their age
  12. You won't really know how to answer when someone asks if you're going home for break.
    I mean, yes? To my home? Where I live alone?
  13. Uncontrollable, slightly bitter laughter every time someone talks about all the things they plan to have done by the time they're 25
    GOOD FUCKING LUCK WITH THAT
  14. Just feeling like this, constantly