Thoughts I Had While Driving

Courtesy of a three and a half hour drive home
  1. Oh god, my parents are going to die someday.
    I won't handle it well, that much I know. Fuck you time, they had better live to be like, 117.
  2. Not only will they die, they'll probably die before I ever get married or have children
    Why couldn't they have had me young instead of waiting until they were mid to late thirties this isn't fair I have so much less time
  3. I'll probably die without getting married or having children anyways
    LOOK, YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO FIND SOMEONE TO DATE IF YOU JUST STAY HOME ALL THE TIME, KAITLIN, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER
  4. Oh god, I'm going to die someday
    I could die right now, this car could merge into my lane without looking and that would be it and I don't even know if I believe in an afterlife. Fuck, I really hope the super vengeful Christian God isn't real because that would super suck. Maybe no afterlife would be better because then I wouldn't know.
  5. STOP THINKING ABOUT DEATH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
  6. DON'T THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU THOUGHT YOU'D BE AT 27 VERSUS WHERE YOU ARE, EITHER
    ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE YOURSELF DEPRESSED?
  7. Oh no, now I'm thinking about how little I've done without my life
    STOP IT OH GOD I NEED TO GET A JOB WILL I EVER GRADUATE WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN MY PARENTS DIE FUCK
  8. Oh man, pretty sure I haven't been paying attention to the road for awhile
    This is not good, this is how you die, Kaitlin, goddamnit
  9. I wonder if there is a rest area soon
    I should probably pee and change this tampon, but I really don't want to get off the freeway this traffic sucks and I just want to get there already
  10. I probably missed the rest area WHILE I WAS THINKING ABOUT MY IMPENDING DEATH
    Now I really have to pee. Shouldn't have though about peeing.
  11. I wonder what's more difficult, using an applicator tampon when you've only used applicator-less ones, or vice versa
    Like, tampons without an applicator are pretty easy to figure out, you basically just shove it in. I grew up with applicators though, so I never really questioned how to use them? Is it difficult to figure out if you've never used one before as an adult?
  12. Is the US one of the only places with majority applicator tampons?
    I feel like I read that once. I wish I lived somewhere where there were more options than OB what sort of tampon variety am I missing out on here?
  13. Fuck, what is this fucker doing? STOP PASSING ME AND SLOWING DOWN
    Better yell "FUCKERS" to myself that always helps
  14. Oh god, my window is down I wonder if they heard me.
    I could hear the people in that one car but maybe they were just being loud? Oh no, why do I always do this, my car is not soundproof I need to stop swearing and shouting along to songs ESPECIALLY WHEN MY WINDOW IS DOWN
  15. It's weird that there are people in all these cars
    They seem like their own entities sometimes, weird metal animals moving all over the place. I know that I'm in a car, and I'm a person, but I never think of other cars as the people in them but the car themselves
  16. Cars are fucking weird
    WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD WHAT AM I EVEN DOING WHAT IS DRIVING WHO THOUGHT OF THIS THIS IS SO WEIRD
  17. When did I stop listening to music when I'm not driving? I feel like this is the only time I do it anymore
    I used to listen to it all the time, what happened? Why am I just sitting in silence all the time when I'm home? Fuck, put some music on when you're not in a car, Kaitlin
  18. I wonder how much time each mile takes when I'm going 75
    I could probably figure this out later but I won't care then
  19. Fuck it, I'm just going to measure by 60 miles equaling one hour, that's close enough
  20. THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG I AM BORED
  21. Is it weird that I measure distance in time not miles?
    I've never understood saying something is twenty miles away that is not helpful what is helpful is how long it takes to get there
  22. Is that a Michigan thing or a Midwest thing or a US thing or am I just weird?
    I swear other people do it too. Maybe it's like saying "I'm going up north" like, everyone here understands what that means but someone from out of state is probably like what the fuck is up north? a magical fucking place, that's what.
  23. DON'T YOU DARE, TURKEY, YOU STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE
    I don't need to add turkey to the list of birds I've hit while driving. Who hits this many birds in their lifetime?
  24. Remember when you hit that hawk?
    It just flew right at my windshield. What were you doing hawk? It probably died. Maybe I should've stopped, but I was running late.
  25. Look, this bear crossing sign is bullshit I have never seen a bear here
    STOP GETTING MY HOPES UP THAT I'LL SEE A BEAR YOU LYING LIAR OF A SIGN
  26. What is the point of an animal crossing sign if they never cross?
    It's just cruel. I'd probably just hit it if one ever crossed though.
  27. Someone better not be parking in my spot when I get there
    I did not drive three and a half hours for some random friend of my sisters to park in my spot if she's going to have people visit she can park in the road
  28. OH THANK GOD I AM HERE
    I'd better sit in my car for another thirty minutes before I go in because I really like this song. And the next one. And the one after that.