WAYS I WAS A MFING ADULT WHILE MAKING EASTER DESSERT

It was a MFing day for the (recipe) books
  1. 1.
    I passed a MF vocab test
    The recipe was pretentious AF. "Homogeneous mixture"?? SRSLY?? I see right through your humblebrag vocab that only serves to tell me about your east coast liberal arts school education. ITS A BLOG THO HOMIE. Slow ya MF roll.
  2. 2.
    I bought a MF springform pan
    This was a BFD because it meant no turning back. I even lined that shit with parchment paper before popping the sucker in place. THIS WAS HARDER THAN EXPECTED.
  3. 3.
    I expressed my MF emotions
    and threw that MF springform pan across the room when I couldn't get it flush enough to fasten the latch. It then began to cooperate shortly thereafter because I showed that MF who was ~BoSs~.
  4. 4.
    I tared my MF scale
    Insert how impressed you are here 👉🏼
  5. 5.
    I had to use a MF double boiler
    Ugh this took SO MF LONG.
  6. 6.
    I didn't spill on my MF clothes
    An apron just means more MF laundry. With that said, DM me for my address if you would like to donate to the cause of my apron-less life.
  7. 7.
    I used MF measuring cups
    Instead of guesstimating. BIG STEP FOR ME GUYS.
  8. 8.
    I ate a MF protein smoothie
    So I wouldn't eat the bowl full of batter. I will reiterate aforementioned point: BIG STEP FOR ME GUYS.
  9. 9.
    I kept all my MF things organized
    When I was done with it I threw that shit in the sink. Paper towels. Coconut sugar. Oven mitts. Tub of vegan butter. I didn't fckin discriminate. HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIFE.
  10. 10.
    I quality checked my MF product
    Quality assurance is a team of like 30 MFers in every tech company. Me myself & Irene had this shit on lock. I am so MFing good at this that I even ADJUSTED the recipe.
  11. 11.
    I had to do this MF technique
    Don't even think about asking me WTF this is even called. As far as I know it's "a double boiler for the oven."