Kinda. Sorta. Not really. Just a mess of a list where I act like a 16 year old. Let me live. (Also MTV please don't fire me xoxo.)
  1. I remember watching the pilot of Finding Carter at home after work on a Friday.
    A few of my coworkers had been talking about it and I forced them to send it to me.
  2. I was instantly obsessed.
    There was only one episode, so life was really rough for a hot second. I need more.
  3. When it premiered, I was happy the rest of the world got to see it too.
    And I was also happy that they recasted the actor who originally played Gabe. He was literally the only issue I had with the pilot. But new Gabe was A+ and very cute.
  4. We had night tweeters who controlled the MTV Twitter account during the episodes to live tweet, but I insisted on doing it for Finding Carter.
    This says a lot because it meant a) I had to stay up late and watch episodes I had already seen and b) not get paid for it.
  5. I soon fell in love with not only the characters and their stories, but the cast.
    Every single person on that show is a precious human and I developed cute little Twitter friendships with some of them.
  6. Finding Carter was fun for me.
    I will be the first to admit it wasn't the BEST show in the world, but the storylines were interesting, the characters were relatable, and I felt a sense of community surrounding it. I wanted to be friends with the characters on the show. And it was obvious the actors were all best friends in real life and I wanted to be friends with them too. There was just something magical about it all.
  7. I watched this show because I was emotionally invested in it and because I wanted to, not because I worked at MTV.
    I feel as though people assume I like certain shows or watch certain shows because I work at MTV and that's not true at all. There are plenty of shows at MTV that don't interest me at all. I don't watch them and I certainly I don't take the time to tweet about them on my own. Finding Carter was different, though. I wanted to invest my time and energy into the show, regardless of the ties to MTV or not.
  8. I used to beg the people who worked on the show to send me to the set or let me do some sort of after show almost daily.
    To the point where it got real annoying, real fast. (And no, neither thing ever happened.)
  9. It was announced that Finding Carter got cancelled this week.
    I could feel it coming. The ratings were down. The social chatter wasn't as high as it used to be. People just weren't as invested as the previous seasons. But I was. And when the news finally broke on the Internet this week, it finally sunk it. One of my favorite television shows has been cancelled.
  10. Fans are vocalizing their anger and annoyance by tweeting MTV.
    I get it. I do. I would do the same. I'd tweet them asking why they canceled the show. I'd tweet them telling them that FC was one of my favorite shows. I'd tweet them asking what was going to happen to my favorite characters. I'd tweet them telling them they made a big mistake. And I'd be annoyed and hurt and angry when nobody responded to me.
  11. But I'm the one who runs MTV's Twitter.
    And I can't respond to the fans saying they're right. I can't tell them what happens to their favorite characters because I don't know. I can't let them know that I hate the fact that this show got cancelled. I can't tell them I think MTV made a big mistake. But I want to. I want them to know that they're not alone. I want them to know that I fought for this show. I want them to know that I'm angry too.
  12. This is the first time a show I've been really invested in has gotten cancelled while I was watching it.
    I'm usually late the game or jump off the bandwagon before these things happen, so I am never really hurt by it. And now I know why -- Because this sucks.
  13. But I want to thank Finding Carter.
    For bringing me closer to some of the other employees at MTV. For bringing me new friends I never expected to have. For making me feel like I wasn't alone. For making me look forward to Tuesday nights. For making me eager and happy to work. For pushing me to chase what I wanted.
  14. Thank you, Finding Carter.
    You didn't deserve this and I probably didn't deserve you.