1. I'm sorry. I know that you serve a purpose.
  2. But it's not my fault that you evolved to look like something that should be guarding the gates of the underworld.
  3. And I know that most of you are safe, even if I live in a really dangerous part of the world for spiders.
  4. It's not even that I'm concerned you'll kill me.
  5. Like all my irrational feelings and thoughts, it's not really about dying.
  6. It's just that you're SO FUCKING CREEPY.
  7. I really dislike you and your chances of living will increase the further you are from me.
  8. I don't want to hurt you. It's just instinctive to crush you and flush you.
  9. Please consider harassing someone else.
  10. Maybe they won't kill you.
  11. It's win/win for us.
  12. Love,
    Someone who needs to call pest control.