HOW TO MAKE A MILKSHAKE
- •Be a little bit sad.Enough to spend gross amounts of money on ice cream.
- •Buy a $12 pint of Ben & Jerry's.Pretend you don't owe money on medical bills.
- •Excitedly put said pint in freezer.Promising yourself you can have some after you work on your literature review tomorrow.
- •Wake up at 2 am.Because your cat is a dick.
- •Walk by kitchen.Consider snack.
- •Find freezer is open.Find ice cream has melted.
- •Put ice cream back, close freezer.Go back to bed.
- •Wake up, remember ice cream, cry a little.The service station is just a few minutes away and you could buy some more but you're not made of money!
- •Around lunch, contemplate throwing out ice cream.
- •Inspect ice cream.It has refrozen oddly and does not look particularly edible.
- •Ask younger brother if he'd like a milkshake.If "yes," proceed.
- •Stick ice cream in microwave.Until it softens again a little.
- •Stick ice cream in blender.Add milk, a generous splash of chocolate topping.
- •Pour into two glasses.
- •Give first to brother.Taste test.
- •If taste test successful, proceed.Drink own. It is actually delicious. 🙏🎉💯