IF HAPPINESS WAS A CHOICE

Oh, look, another mental health rant.
  1. Believe me, I'd have chosen it.
  2. I know that phrase looks cute on FB posts or inspirational wall decor, but it actually makes me feel like shit.
  3. I have tried being happy.
  4. I have even tried the ill-advised "pretend to be happy until you really are!"
  5. But none of that seems to fix my fucked up brain chemistry.
  6. None of that seems to be enough to convince me that things are fine as they are.
  7. Do people think that depression is the easy way out?
  8. I'm not just talking about in terms of as an outlook.
  9. Depression is fucking expensive.
  10. It's appointments all the time, new scripts, days off work and sometimes no work at all when you can't get out of bed for weeks because... what's the fucking point?
  11. Stop blaming people with mental illness for the way the feel.
  12. Stop telling people with mental illness that they're simply lazy, that if they were doing more they'd be okay.
  13. Stop assuming because you (or someone you know) can or did, so can they.
  14. If happiness was a choice,
  15. I'd have chosen it.