ONE YEAR ON

Looking back on the end of a friendship.
  1. I still miss her?
  2. Missing her catches me off guard, sometimes. I'll see a book or a trailer and think about how I'd want to share that with her and then remember.
  3. I have much less anger. This could be DBT or just time. I don't know.
  4. I'll never be okay with what she called me in front of our mutual friends but I know those worth keeping will form their own opinions of me.
  5. It's still awkward having mutual friends and seeing things on FB that I used to be a part of.
  6. I have changed so much as a person without her. Therapy, meds, for better or for worse.
    And some of it was for worse. I can't undo the damage Seroquel's done to me as quickly as she undid our friendship, but I'm working at it.
  7. I am better off without her.
    I am 👏🏼 better 👏🏼 off 👏🏼 without 👏🏼 her.
  8. Sometimes bridges are burnt that you aren't yet ready to see turn to ash. You want to swim back, rage against the current but instead you have to take a deep breath and walk down stream.
    Even if it means being alone as you search for another path to new and better things.