1. I wanted to write a poem about my best friend.
  2. Well. My former best friend, and the fact she's taken to calling me a snake,
  3. months after I found out she'd been calling me a psycho: PSYCHO.
  4. BUT I'm tired of trying to be poetic about her abandonment and verbal abuse after the fact.
  5. Instead, here are some cute snake videos because snakes are fucking awesome.
  6. Waffle the Kenyan Sand Boa:
  7. Waffle's Sand Hat:
  8. Milkshake the Milksnake:
  9. Donut the African House Snake (with a toy donut!):
  10. Baby Snakes Morning Explore Time! with Waffle, Donut, and Milkshake:
  11. Cutest Snake I Ever Did See: