Thanks for the request, @nathalia! I wouldn't say I use these every day, but some come pretty damn close. Sorry this is so delayed. Going to make this open because I wanna hear everybody else's responses. 😁
  1. "We need a new plague."
    Dwight Schrute, The Office. I say this whenever I am in any crowded or semi-crowded place. It is probably a terrible thing for a public health student to say.
  2. "Ten seconds at a time."
    Kimmy Schmidt, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. This is kind of my mantra and helps quite a bit with anxiety.
  3. "First of all, how dare you?"
    Kelly Kapoor, The Office. I don't think this one even needs an explanation.
  4. "Sure, fine, whatever."
    Dana Scully, The X-Files. This probably infuriates people.
  5. "McDonald's."
    Mindy Lahiri, The Mindy Project. Whenever asked what would cheer me up/what I want, in the same exasperated yet hopeful tone.
  6. "Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means 'you are.' Y-O-U-R means 'your'!"
    Ross Geller, Friends. Presented without comment.
  7. "Goddammit."
    The entire cast of IASIP, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. When I'm feeling more specific: "Goddammit, Dee."
  8. "I don't even consider myself a part of society."
    Michael Scott, The Office. I guess I just quote The Office a lot?
  9. No. No but. Just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it.
    President Bartlet to Abby in the West Wing. So useful in so many situations!
    Suggested by @bookishclaire
  10. "Forever unclean!"
    From Nick Kroll's character Ruxin from The League. Said when something is so gross that it will probably never be clean again.
    Suggested by @franksars
  11. I'm a monster!
    Buster on Arrested Development. Usually screamed at my husband when he compliments me.
    Suggested by @gayla
  12. "Well, well, well... How the turntables..."
    7b29fbb4 0631 4828 9f41 5400b2e7e7ed
    Another Michael Scott classic.
    Suggested by @franksars
  13. "I hate so much about the things you choose to be."
    More Michael Scott, but it's basically the best.
    Suggested by @tawny
  14. "Must Be Nice"
    From Broad City - a street kid who later turns out to be rich says it and I can't stop saying it to people!
    Suggested by @courtneymoss
  15. "Youths" 😑
    Suggested by @nervesofscared
  16. "What am I, a farmer?"
    D477fb9d 0a25 4a76 a679 24a5f507a2a6
    Suggested by @readjulia
  17. "Who told you to use a balm?!"
    Cabdbee8 026a 4fc6 8baf 0221d43bb490
    Jackie Childs, from Seinfeld — Used every time I hear the word balm.
    Suggested by @budesigns
  18. Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make. -Michael Scott, The Office
    It's long, but if I hear either "guess what?" or "I have flaws"
    Suggested by @becktacular
    From the hunting trip episode of Parks and Rec. idk what it means but I like it
    Suggested by @minabird
  20. "Shut it down"
    30 Rock
    Suggested by @minabird
  21. "Stop shoulding all over yourself!"
    A variation of Carrie Bradshaw's "why are we shoulding all over ourselves?" SATC
    Suggested by @kate81
  22. Treat yo self
    Parks and Recreation
    Suggested by @binxymeehan
  23. "listen up fives, a ten is speaking."
    Jenna Maroney a la 30 Rock. So underrated
    Suggested by @lisafischer
  24. Shazbot
    From Mork and Mindy. This is my favorite swear word.
    Suggested by @brookerandell
  25. It's handled
    Olivia Pope - Scandal
    Suggested by @loriatx
  26. "You come at the king, you best not miss"
    Omar - The Wire
    Suggested by @loriatx
  27. "Outie 5000"
    Liz Lemon again. Ok I'm done
    Suggested by @julieuhls
  28. "I want to go to there."
    Another gem from Liz Lemon
    Suggested by @julieuhls
  29. "High fiving a million angels!"
    The one and only Liz Lemon
    Suggested by @julieuhls
  30. "...and I feel God in this Chili's tonight."
    Pam Beesly. Sometimes said at Chili's, but usually not
    Suggested by @julieuhls
  31. Bring me all your bacon and eggs.
    Ron Swanson, Parks and Rec. said any time I'm starving, which is always. Let's be real.
    Suggested by @wonderishmama
  32. "Unagi." Ross on Friends. Classic.
    Suggested by @Evie
  33. "Good god, Lemon!"
    30 Rock. All the time.
    Suggested by @lame
  34. I am Beyoncé, always.
    Suggested by @madelineandnine
  35. "Serenity Now! Serenity Now!" Frank Costanza /Seinfeld
    Suggested by @kiraandlulu
  36. "She had man-hands" The Bizarro Jerry episode on Seinfeld.
    Suggested by @kiraandlulu
  37. "You know that's right"
    Gus from Psych. Said when I am right about something (which is always)
    Suggested by @bkwmkiwi
  38. "I cook naked... I clean naked...I drive naked... naked, naked,naked." Elaine From Seinfeld.
    Suggested by @kiraandlulu
  39. I will never understand people...They're the worst. -Jerry and Elaine, Seinfeld.
    Suggested by @egiuffri
  40. the woooooooorst
    Ef4808dd d431 4bd5 82ad 0abc2c5827e3
    maybe my most used text .gif
    Suggested by @aprylhm
  41. "If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice." - Michael Scott
    Suggested by @emg2613
  42. "Calzones are like pizza but they're harder to eat"
    Leslie Knope
    Suggested by @emg2613