WHAT I'D DO IF I HAD A TIME MACHINE
Thanks for the request, @nathalia! 😘
- •Freak out.Where did it come from?
- •Seek crazy-but-wise old man to help me navigate it.
- •If unsuccessful, search for manual.
- •If again unsuccessful, stare at buttons and contemplate.
- •Panic.What if I ruin human history? Or the future of humanity?
- •Take a benzo.
- •Press buttons.
- •Go back.Find my grandfather who died when I was still an infant. Ask him to teach me all the Polish words he still knew while drinking lime milkshakes, his favourite.
- •...Spend more time with my grandmother. Ask her questions about the war, and about how she did it all.
- •...See my aunt before she died. Find out what she wanted from me. Stop my other aunt from taking her life.
- •...Say sorry when there was still time.
- •Go forward.Find my later self. Ask how to get through it. Ask if it gets better. Ask if it's worth it.
- •...Find out some good sporting results to unethically bet on. Not to become a billionaire but just so my mother can have a house and breathe each month.
- •...Find cool celebrities I can meet while they're still up-and-comers.
- •...Steal a hoverboard or whatever.
- •Go home.Rest. Observe. Pray that Beyoncé was still born.