WHAT I'D DO IF I HAD A TIME MACHINE
Thanks for the request, @nathalia! 😘
- 1.Freak out.Where did it come from?
- 2.Seek crazy-but-wise old man to help me navigate it.
- 3.If unsuccessful, search for manual.
- 4.If again unsuccessful, stare at buttons and contemplate.
- 5.Panic.What if I ruin human history? Or the future of humanity?
- 6.Take a benzo.
- 7.Press buttons.
- 8.Go back.Find my grandfather who died when I was still an infant. Ask him to teach me all the Polish words he still knew while drinking lime milkshakes, his favourite.
- 9....Spend more time with my grandmother. Ask her questions about the war, and about how she did it all.
- 10....See my aunt before she died. Find out what she wanted from me. Stop my other aunt from taking her life.
- 11....Say sorry when there was still time.
- 12.Go forward.Find my later self. Ask how to get through it. Ask if it gets better. Ask if it's worth it.
- 13....Find out some good sporting results to unethically bet on. Not to become a billionaire but just so my mother can have a house and breathe each month.
- 14....Find cool celebrities I can meet while they're still up-and-comers.
- 15....Steal a hoverboard or whatever.
- 16.Go home.Rest. Observe. Pray that Beyoncé was still born.