Chapter Titles for My Autobiography

  1. 1.
    The blessing of a nation
    Birth (obviously)
  2. 2.
    I'm short and can't use my opposable thumbs yet
    I have no memory of this but I am going to assume this is accurate
  3. 3.
    Learning that the dot on top of the lowercase letter "i" isn't connected to the stem
    A really ground-breaking discovery for me at the age of 4. Traumatized and cried because my letters were so ugly
  4. 4.
    Coloring inside the lines
    Have always been a good colorer, one of my finer traits
  5. 5.
    Two broken wrists & a partridge in a pear tree
  6. 6.
    Bad haircut: an American tragedy
    Told my hairdresser to cut my hair up to my chin instead of my shoulder. Chaos ensued
  7. 7.
    Peak of athleticism and academia - 7th grade
    12 year old me was pretty awesome no lie
  8. 8.
    "You're like kinda funny if I'm standing right next to you because that's the only way I can hear your jokes"
    Pitifully shy and insecure. However, my low mumbles in the back of class were found to be quite humorous to those sitting less than 3 feet away from me
  9. 9.
    Era of multiple injuries
    See requested list "running related injuries you've had"
  10. 10.
    Young, not wild but likes Twitter & JCrew
    My existence in a nutshell
  11. 11.
    I'm sarcastic and look like a turtle
    And now we're here, I'm sorry if you made it all the way to the end of this