The Most Bizarre, Silly or Impossible Thing You Believed as a Kid

Please share yours...
  1. I believed the maple tree in my backyard was sapient, had conversations with me, and was upset with me for not knowing how to fly.
    All of our conversations happened in my dreams and I didn't know that dreams weren't reality.
  2. I thought that jet trails were zippers and that the jets were unzipping the sky and that's how day became night
    Suggested by   @ohteeds
  3. I asked on Facebook and got these answers
  4. More from facebook
  5. I thought that pushing on a bruise made it go away.
    Every time I did it I would think, "No pain, no gain."
    Suggested by   @emilyannlosey
  6. Women get pregnant from eating crackers.
    I saw a picture of a pregnant woman eating crackers, and formed this theory. Also stopped eating crackers because I knew kindergarten was too young to have a baby.
    Suggested by   @kcupcaker
  7. My mother had a hysterectomy and I referred to the surgery as "taking out her otter"
    My oldest sister still cracks on me for thinking a uterus was an otter.
    Suggested by   @Boogie
  8. I had to eat vegetables in order for the family of rabbits living in my stomach to survive.
    🐰🐰
    Suggested by   @kcupcaker
  9. That if I tried really hard I could become a dog.
    I spent many months crawling around and barking, panting, and wagging my "tail."
    Suggested by   @e
  10. That toll booth attendants lived in those tiny toll booths 24/7
    WHERE WERE THEIR CARS?!? I fought reality for a long time on this one.
    Suggested by   @ameliaville
  11. I thought my parents were telepathic because they always knew when I was lying
    Turns out I just had a very obvious tell
    Suggested by   @OffTheDott
  12. A friend's Taco Bell smelled like vomit and I said so. He told me they use regurgitated meat. I refused to eat there for a while after that.
    Suggested by   @k8zinker
  13. That rocks turned poisonous after they were thrown
    Everyone always said "don't throw rocks," and I couldn't think of any reason why, unless it was because they turned poisonous afterwards. Realized way too late it was just because rocks hurt.
    Suggested by   @dfly
  14. We had a treadmill in my basement. One time I fell and scraped my knee on it, and for some reason (I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY) I thought I was going to turn into a lion because of the scrape.
    Suggested by   @heathermarie
  15. I thought when the water went down drain in the bathtub there were stickey little purple blobs (think sea urchins) that would recycle the bath water by cleaning it then sending it back up to the shower head to be reused.
    Suggested by   @kates08
  16. I believed pretzels were made from wood.
    Suggested by   @JosephRPost
  17. Thought hard boiled egg yolks were bouncy balls.
    Suggested by   @merkinspurlock
  18. Also thought a blowjob was when one person coughs into another persons mouth...
    Suggested by   @merkinspurlock
  19. I believed that when you let go of a balloon it went to heaven where all the animals were and they would try to eat the balloon and die.
    Because for some reason the animals in heaven hadn't already died. I kept a very tight handle on my balloons because of this.
    Suggested by   @kittykat36
  20. I believed that squirrels, rabbits and raccoons all lived in family units like humans. The Mom staying home and keeping house while the Dad went to "work". So when I would see one dead on the road it broke my heart. I would think; that Dad is never gonna see his family again.
    Suggested by   @FlowerChild70
  21. I burned my feet when I was little and believed for a long time that anytime they got tingly, it was a symptom of that injury. I didn't realize that feet "falling asleep" is not unique to me.
    Suggested by   @tweedledee
  22. I thought there were hidden cameras everywhere & my whole life was being broadcast to movie theatres around the country for people to watch (think The Truman Show, except this was years before that movie came out).
    I spent most of my time trying to incorporate improvised song & dance routines into my life in a way that looked natural, because I wanted to be entertaining, but I also thought if people found out I knew, they'd stop watching.
    Suggested by   @crackdkettle
  23. People who were in the time zone ahead of me lived one hour in the future
    Suggested by   @joeluther
  24. I believed that my Grandparents painted the lines on the interstate so we wouldn't get lost on the 12 hour drive to their house!
    Suggested by   @minxsie
  25. I believed that evil spirits were watching me and were reporting what I said to the devil, so when I was alone I would often say out loud the opposite of what I was thinking to mess up their plans. Also I was worried that I'd grow up to be the antichrist.
    Suggested by   @trespassers
  26. My sister believed that there was a man who sat in the ATM + dealt out the cash.
    She believed this well into high school + we only found out because she asked my mom if the man in the ATM got a holiday when everyone else did. She didn't realize that ATM stands for automatic teller machine.
    Suggested by   @cariturner
  27. I believed that gothic people had to go through special training and licensing to be gothic, and they got to carry around guns and kill people if they wanted
    My older cousin told me this was the case and I believed her 🙃
    Suggested by   @shreyasaurus
  28. I made a suggestion list like that a while ago, there's a lot of funny stories : As A Kid I Believed
    Suggested by   @solena
  29. There is a car wash in San Jose CA that I grew up near and I legitimately thought it was Disneyland for the longest time. It looks like the boat they feature in the Fantasmic show at the theme park. Everytime we passed it I would get upset and say, "I just want to say hi to Mickey, just really quick to say hi", I was heartbroken every week lol.
    Suggested by   @Katlips02
  30. I believed a certain stick in the back yard "chose me" Harry Potter style and was a real wand. I would use it to move things that were already moving but was convinced it was because of me.
    Suggested by   @ErinFlaherty
  31. My oldest sister told us she could jump into pictures and I believed her. We had a huge Cinderella poster and she would regularly attend the ball and I was so upset I often cried.
    Suggested by   @ErinFlaherty
  32. I believed that every time you watched a movie the actors had to stop what they were doing and immediately perform the entire movie for you. I didn't like watching movies late at night because I thought it was inconsiderate to the actors!
    Suggested by   @hannahbee
  33. I believed there were sharks swimming around in my newly single father's waterbed. I secretly slept on the floor next to the bed when I stayed at his place.
    Suggested by   @AprilCzach
  34. I used to think that when we went to see a movie in theaters, the movie was happening behind the curtains hanging on the walls. This made movies with dinosaurs and sharks doubly terrifying.
    Suggested by   @sarahsmith4
  35. One time I asked my dad why we had fingernails. I really meant "hangnails," but he, scrambled to come up with a use for "fingernails." He just said "They're good for throwing rocks, I guess." Hearing this, I thought that having a hangnail allowed me to throw rocks harder. Every time I had a hangnail, man, I was out in the street hurdling rocks!
    Suggested by   @becktacular
  36. I also thought my mom had cloned herself I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND AS A CHILD
    Suggested by   @becktacular