THINGS THAT HAVE GONE WRONG TODAY

The Monday-est of Monday
  1. I am back at work after 10 days off.
  2. I couldn't find my gym lock.
  3. My dress, hair, and entire being is very staticy.
  4. I underestimated how cold it would be and am wearing fishnets instead of tights.
  5. My work computer won't recognize a keyboard and therefore, I cannot use it.
  6. The Hen House by my office is closed for six months and I cannot eat their salad bar for lunch.
  7. The line at Panera was very long.
  8. There are some middle school mean girls sitting across from me at Panera and they are making fun of everyone they see.