REASONS I DON'T FIT IN

And I'm too sleep deprived to care.
  1. The woman who frantically posted about the person who agreed to bake the three-tiered cake for her child's first birthday cancelled two weeks ahead of time.
    Three weeks after my child's first birthday, I baked cupcakes, invited her sister's friends over and took photos. Solely for the photos.
  2. The woman who posted, "where should I take my 14 month baby camping?"
    I grew up in Colorado and my husband grew up in Maine. We were both big summer camp kids. If we never spend another night on the ground, it'll be too soon.
  3. I've been wearing jeans and sneakers almost every day since I didn't go back to work full time after the baby was born.
    The moms I hang out with wear leggings and skirts or dresses. Granted, their kids are all older. Oh, and all of them moved to the U.S. last August, so maybe that's a thing.
  4. I don't wear yoga or exercise pants unless I'm going to yoga or the gym.
    Like other moms with babies I see. They're perfectly comfortable, but I get SO cold!
  5. I compost, drive a Prius, and make my own baby wipes.
    But I use disposable diapers and hearing The Grateful Dead makes me want to poke my ear drums with an ice pick.
  6. I enjoy meeting new people but hate the idea of a Bed and Breakfast.
    I'm even a morning person, but making small talk over my favorite meal sounds like hell.