Awesome reasons you should live in the suburbs
- •Neighbors are always wanting to become your best friendUntil that is of course, you actually go over there and they realize you aren't like them
- •You wake up to the sound of kids throwing balls against your garageOr in today's case, the sound of a bouncy castle being blown up in the house directly behind yours
- •There's always a juicy scandalAnd you're always the last one to hear about it
- •They're always building trendy coffee houses near youAnd it's damn good coffee even if you hate going in there and seeing everyone dressed up and paying twenty bucks for coffee
- •There's always a single, hot dad all the moms lust afterAnd you probably already dated him
- •There's always an annoying neighbor with "evidence"That your grass is too long, that your kids were out past curfew, that you want to punch them in the face...
- •You always get woken upTOO DAMN EARLY