Requested by Boogie

Proof That I Am Not As Graceful As I Seem

Do I seem graceful @Boogie ?? I think not
  1. I've broken both my arms
    Once as a kid and once as a teen. Both times it made no sense my arm should be broken, the fall was so small and seemingly insignificant that it was like "broken? Really?"
  2. I've broken a few pairs of glasses
    They should really refuse to give me insurance on my glasses at this point. I don't know that I've ever kept a pair longer than six months. It's ridiculous
  3. I always have bruises
    I'm Always running into things. Like always. Walls, desks, chairs, it doesn't matter what it is. If it's sitting perfectly still and it's always in the same place, I'm going to run into it.
  4. I'm always spilling on my
    Clothes, carpet, floor...usually my clothes though. So I have lovely stains when I'm teaching. At least my shirt has never been seen through but I wouldn't be surprised if I do eventually end up like that.
  5. I'm always falling
    Okay I've gotten better about this one. But I don't know how many times I've fallen down the stairs or while trying to sit down in a chair with wheels or just fallen in general.
  6. I've cracked my head open twice
    Once I was pushed off the swing onto a concrete floor by a bully. The second time I opened some blinds that were wooden and fell on my head and cracked it open. Maybe neither of these were my fault, but maybe a more graceful person could have avoided at least one of these.
  7. And not one hour after I wrote this I was applying make up
    And somehow managed to get foundation inside my cornea. I mean, who does that?! Not only did it look hideous and take a while to remove, I also had burning corneas for my clumsiness. Maybe this list should be titled "proof I'm not as intelligent as I might seem" Because reading all of this makes me feel DUMB