Reasons my Children Are or have been Mad at me

The illogical craziness behind the cuteness
  1. The winter break is over
    Because, you know, I control the school calendar or time itself? And you know, instead of tipping this in my favor, I would make the break (the only time of year I get to read and go to the bathroom when I need to) I would purposely make it go quickly
  2. It's cold outside
    Because you know, I control the weather? Add that to the fact that I love this weather and I am just flat out evil!
  3. The fire alarms went off in the middle of the night
    I mean, obvi I wanted to be awoken one hour after I fell asleep and be exhausted for the rest of the day. I'm sure I was lighting something on fire in the middle of the night, right???
  4. Being too calm
    Not kidding. I have actually had my anxiety ridden teen look me in the face and demand to know how in the world I can be so calm when she's having a complete meltdown.
  5. Keeping the house too clean
    I mean, they would just love it if I was willing to live in filth for a while
  6. Being too good a cook
    Like, this was a serious reproach I got this week. "Mom, you have been too good a cook. One week of you being sick made me realize that I'll never be able to cook like you so...that sucks". Um...I'm going to work on that???