What I want to say to a person in a miserable, toxic marriage

  1. It doesn't have to be this way
    I know you think it does, but it really doesn't
  2. You truly deserve better than this
    If you're putting up with that stuff you're putting up with, you obviously don't know that you deserve better
  3. No one should live this way
    They really, really shouldn't
  4. You have every right to cry about this
    Unhappily married people feel like they can't cry about this. And I get it, I did the same thing. But you can and you should.
  5. You're not a failure
    Why do we always feel like we failed at marriage? Relationships are hard. It isn't a matter of failing
  6. Your family's opinion doesn't matter
    It really doesn't
  7. You will survive this
    You really will. But you have to be willing to change what's wrong first
  8. This won't define the rest of your life
    It really won't
  9. The church's opinion doesn't matter
    If they can't stand by you, find a new church
  10. Call me if you want to talk
    But I just met this person, so I know that would be weird
  11. You have no idea what's out there waiting for you
    Happiness. That's what's waiting...