Inspired by @Boogie and everyone else who wrote this awesome list. Shoutout to @theshome for the idea to use awesome GIFS
  1. I say "happy Monday!"
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  2. I suddenly start listing about my love for mornings
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  3. I suddenly start talking about how great reality tv is
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  4. I try to draw attention to myself in public
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  5. I suddenly stop drinking
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  6. I start listening to country music
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  7. You never see another picture of my puppies again
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  8. I yell at my children and or my students
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  9. I never mention my gender or my heritage
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  10. I quit my job in favor of seeking a job that makes more money, and that's the only motivation
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  11. I start hanging out with people who are bad for me
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  12. I start acting responsible and mature
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  13. I suddenly get very competitive
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