Venting about my relationship with ma

trigger warning: domesic violence
  1. 1.
    She always tries and bosses me around and criticizes me hurtfully or guilt trips me relentlessly if I don't do as she says. Demands stuff from me and gives me ultimatums/punishment if I dont do as she wants like that she will kick me out
  2. 2.
    Self-righteous hypocrisy. She will act like i have no reason to ever be disappointed by her. She denies and says she's not angry when she's obviously frustrated with me and having shots at me
  3. 3.
    Thinks she's right about everything/has to have things done exactly her way in a particular order and time and neatness (even my own room)
  4. 4.
    Exaggerating how worried she is about everything all the time and constant self pitying; invalidating any of my problems because hers are "so much worse"
  5. 5.
    Doesn't bother to understand me or trust me. It is an ongoing battle for her to see where I'm coming from and let me do what I think would be best for me
  6. 6.
    Doesn't look after her health and hurts herself to guilt trip. Yet she always justifies everything she does aggressively/defiantly and stubbornly
  7. 7.
    Always thinks she's the one to give top advice and will put it in my face at any time and repeat it constantly thousands of times even if i acknowledge it the first time
  8. 8.
    Always says to be lenient on her because she helps out sometimes. Hence excusing herself for all her mistakes
  9. 9.
    She generalizes me in a very negative light when I don't do what she wants or she is in self-pitying mode
  10. 10.
    She will act like I should instantly forgive her and feel sorry for her when she doesn't do that for me. She will guilt trip me about it or act like an innocent naive little old helpless lady who is just "doing her best"
  11. 11.
    She will act like I shouldn't be angry when she gets tempered with me all the time
  12. 12.
    She instantly accuses and condemns me of things she doesn't take time to understand
  13. 13.
    Extremely intimidating, threatening, passive-aggressive, manipulative, relentless, judgemental
  14. 14.
    She hardly ever acknowledges the good things I try to do for her and says stuff like no one cares about her
  15. 15.
    She doesn't care if I feel extremely upset sometimes e.g. suicidal. She just blames me and says things like "you have to learn to control your temper" even if I'm having a mental breakdown and it involves the way she treats me. She'll act like I'm the one with the problem when she's all up in my face harassing me
  16. 16.
    She guilt trips me when *I* dont understand *her*.
  17. 17.
    If I say how a boy mistreated me she will focus and blame that it was my fault for rushing into things. She even makes excuses for a guy who was so very emotionally abusive towards me
  18. 18.
    She says how much better her life was before she came here to start a family. She puts burden and responsibility on me to cheer her up
  19. 19.
    She wouldn't even listen to a therapist or social worker if they said she was emotionally abusive. Probably not even a doctor
  20. 20.
    How did she even get by in life with this attitude. She said she was so much calmer, lovelier and happier before she came here and got married away from her parents and relatives and friends. Blaming her environment for the way she is today saying that she was a highly respected strict teacher before she was a hopeless housewife here
  21. 21.
    She doesn't care how unhealthy this kind of dynamic is for a mother daughter relationship. She doesn't care to change
  22. 22.
    Has health problems but feels sorry for herself and mopes around doing nothing about it e.g. exercising or going to the doctor. Or she blames me and guilt trips me about them- she will even smoke after every argument and blame me
  23. 23.
    She exaggerates and nags on any little household thing or help she gives
  24. 24.
    She will act like it's the end of the world out of no where- be negative and discouraging if she's not having something or feeling judgy
  25. 25.
    She acts jealous of other mothers often and compares me to their kids, highlighting my apparent failures and inadequacies
  26. 26.
    Accuses me of never caring about her and just caring about myself. So no matter what i do for her, she never acknowledges it and hence I have low self-esteem issues. I'm never caring enough for her, she's always the good samaritan who is the reason things are functioning
  27. 27.
    Always rushes me. Doesn't think of my comfort
  28. 28.
    Gets cranky instead of talking things through with me
  29. 29.
    Acts like she listens when she doesn't so she says she will do stuff she doesn't
  30. 30.
    Always willing to argue over the littlest things and grumble while walking away saying insults I can't hear out the words but can hear- leaving me guessing with anxious insecurities instead of talking to me about my problems
  31. 31.
    Doesn't have boundaries when it comes with my room because it is "her house".
  32. 32.
    Mum said my OCD isn't better than it was almost 2 years ago, which i found really disheartening to say to someone who struggles with it so often, and it really affected me because the other day i was thinking about how i was repeating mistakes i made two years ago and i got pretty scared and hopeless