Gift Cards That Don't Exist But If You Bought Me One I'd Love You Forever

Inspired by @BWN_7
  1. 2 years of Grading Writing Assessments
    Because hopefully this is the maximum amount of time I would ever need to use this. I hate grading county issued writing assessments!
  2. 2 Loads of Laundry/per week Will be Folded and Put Away or Hung to Dry
    I don't mind doing the laundry, just need it to magically fold and put itself away!
  3. A Daily Dishwasher that Doesn't Judge
    "You're one person. How many dirty dishes could you possibly have?" A LOT, OKAY? Especially when I let them pile up for 3 days.
  4. A Part-Time Classroom Assistant
    Oh wait! This actually could happen if the politicians would get their crap together! Come at me! 😡
  5. A Personal Shopper for Jeans, semi-annually
    Someone with my identical body shape (I'm even willing to be cloned, but for this purpose only) trying on ALL the jeans and finding the perfect pair. Then wearing them for a few days to break them in. You know, like Chandler did for Joey.
  6. A CD Sorter (As long as it takes)
    I currently have 130 CDs in my car CDS IN MY CAR!!!!! 💿 I also have the ones pictured in cases of sorts in this basket. I cannot go through them all BUT I cannot just throw them all away. Which ones no longer work? Which ones have I not listened to in years? Which ones still need imported to my iTunes? Is it even worth it? I cannot take on this task!