I teach 22 fifth graders, ages 10-11.
  1. "We've got a man down and we're not kidding this time!"
    At recess
  2. "Is this book new?"
    Said with the straightest face. (It's yellowing and has writing in it.)
  3. "It looks like a blue penis"
    (It's blue food coloring in a dialysis tape tube representing the way nutrients are absorbed into the blood stream from the small intestine. The beads would be what doesn't get absorbed and moves to the large intestines.)
  4. "If Trump bombs ISIS, will we get bombed?"
    On November 8th, the hardest day for me to go to work this year. I had to explain the 3 branches of government. This child still has Trump as a screen saver on his computer. Welcome to my hell!
  5. "And her boobs were down to here" student says while curving each of his hands by his waist.
    Had to have a little talk with two boys about how to talk to and about women.
  6. "I don't know, we got it at Goodwill. My mom tried to google it."
  7. "We're studying demonic traits."
    As told to his parent who was confused at first until she figured out he meant DOMINANT traits.