The Devil Inside (You, Apparently)

According to a weird little pamphlet I've seen from time to time in random public places, the following things are key "components of Satan's spiritual structure" and are "doorways to demonic possession." Join me in reviewing the list, and let's discover just how vulnerable our souls are!
  1. Before we begin, a disclaimer:
    The items on this list reflect the opinions of the original pamphlet authors, and not the opinions of this list writer, who does not actually believe in any metaphysical devil. (Whether or not her cat is a devil is another story.)
  2. Eastern Religions, yoga, meditation
    I do yoga all the time, and find Eastern religious thought fascinating. And I fail to see what is evil about meditation. Guess it's not the "right" kind?
  3. Freemasonry, Illuminati groups, Rosicrucianism
    Not a member of any of these. But don't at least some subgroups have a Christian basis?
  4. New Age religions, Wicca, earth worship
    While I don't consider any of this my "religion" it would be a lie to say this stuff doesn't strike my fancy.
  5. Church of Satan, Scientology
    Obviously to the first. But I think there could be a lot more cults included here.
  6. Kabbalah
    Remember when Madonna made this trendy?
  7. Astrology, tarot cards, Ouija boards, palmistry, divination, remote viewing, astral projection
    If you've ever even read your horoscope, you're guilty too.
  8. Voodoo
    I didn't know whether to group this in with religions or random magic stuff. It seemed like either way could cause offense? And never having practiced voodoo, I don't have the expertise to know better.
  9. Levitation, necromancy
    Yeah these aren't real.
  10. Lycanthropy, Vampirism
    Aside from the medical conditions and/or lifestyle choices that may result in werewolf/vampire behaviors, see the above reason.
  11. Re-birthing, fire walking
  12. Video games, cyberpunk culture, alt "comix"
    So Mario Kart has damned me right to hell?!
  13. Backmasking
    Apparently this is what it's called when you make a recording with a hidden message that is revealed when you play it backwards.
  14. Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Dungeons & Dragons
    These are a few of my favorite things....
  15. Rock music, heavy metal, Burning Man
    The definition of what kind of music is obscene is the most inconstant thing in history.
  16. Raves and "XTC"
  17. "Skull and Bones"
    I have no idea what they mean by this. The secret society? The symbol? The actual body parts??
  18. Goth culture
    I'm a goth on the *inside*.
  19. Twilight films
    So shameful. But also, how do they determine the point at which the vampirism/lycanthropy cancels out the heavy faith-based subtext?
  20. Trilateralism
    I had to look this up, and I'm assuming they mean a polyamorous relationship (or a triad), and not the political type of this relationship. I say do what makes you happy, ya dig?
  21. Marihuana (sic), pot parties, LSD, shrooms
  22. Fornication
    Where on Cosmo Girl's hook-up meter does "fornication" fall?
  23. Vegetarianism
    WHHAAAAATTT?? I guess if they're lumping this in with Eastern religion, I get it, but this is baffling. Who knew being an omnivore would give me spiritual strength?
  24. Halloween
    Aka one of my favorite things ever. If I'm doomed to perdition, I guess this is the main reason why.
  25. Post-modernism
    This is such broad concept, I don't understand its inclusion here. I suppose because this viewpoint represents resistance to tradition and dogma, but really? But it's culturally pervasive, so...