To Overthink a Jingle

Or, To Willfully Take a Catchphrase at Face Value and Analyze It With Artificial Sincerity
  1. I was eating a Bagel Bite earlier tonight,
    And like so many of us do, sang the jingle to myself while chowing down.
  2. You know how it goes....
  3. "When pizza's on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime!"
  4. For the first time, I really LISTENED,
    And thought about those words.
  5. First of all, any college student will tell you that you that pizza doesn't need to be delivered on a bagel for it to be an acceptable breakfast.
  6. Given our modern attitude shift about when it's okay to eat pizza, is this jingle woefully outdated?
  7. Secondly, what a strange premise this establishes regarding bagels:
  8. Are the jingle-composers saying that anything can be breakfast as long as it's on a bagel?
  9. Could I layer a piece of eggplant Parmesan on top of a bagel and give it to my friends for brunch?
  10. Cover a bagel in nacho cheese? Skewer it with a buffalo wing? Put a spoonful of ceviche on top?
  11. (To be honest, my mind is now racing with possibilities about what to do with a bagel.)
  12. Thirdly, do other breakfast items have this same power over pizza?
  13. If I put pizza toppings on a waffle, is it an acceptable breakfast?
    And would that truly be as delicious as it sounds?
  14. Food for thought.