Or, To Willfully Take a Catchphrase at Face Value and Analyze It With Artificial Sincerity
  1. I was eating a Bagel Bite earlier tonight,
    And like so many of us do, sang the jingle to myself while chowing down.
  2. Static
  3. You know how it goes....
  4. "When pizza's on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime!"
  5. Giphy
  6. For the first time, I really LISTENED,
    And thought about those words.
  7. First of all, any college student will tell you that you that pizza doesn't need to be delivered on a bagel for it to be an acceptable breakfast.
  8. Given our modern attitude shift about when it's okay to eat pizza, is this jingle woefully outdated?
  9. Secondly, what a strange premise this establishes regarding bagels:
  10. Are the jingle-composers saying that anything can be breakfast as long as it's on a bagel?
  11. Could I layer a piece of eggplant Parmesan on top of a bagel and give it to my friends for brunch?
  12. Cover a bagel in nacho cheese? Skewer it with a buffalo wing? Put a spoonful of ceviche on top?
  13. (To be honest, my mind is now racing with possibilities about what to do with a bagel.)
  14. Static
  15. Thirdly, do other breakfast items have this same power over pizza?
  16. If I put pizza toppings on a waffle, is it an acceptable breakfast?
    And would that truly be as delicious as it sounds?
  17. Food for thought.