CONVERSATIONS WITH MY GRANDMA, PRICKA
Everyone in my family has a nickname and my grandma's is Pricka.
- •Boy at the drive through window: "What size ma'am?" Pricka: "That's none of your business, you animal!"
- •Pricka (from the backseat of a car been driven by her son-in-law, my dad who is named Joel): "You're messing up, mister." (To me) "Hold on, I have to tell Simple Simon what to do."
- •"That Rachel Maddow is a first class bitch."
- •To the Chef at a fancy restaurant: "Who makes up this shit?" Chef: "We throw a dart at a dartboard." P: "Thought so."
- •"All of those houses look exactly the same. How do you know which one is yours when you come home drunk?"
- •(To my dad, who is navigating a map going through New Mexico) "Jesus, you'd make a piss poor Mexican."