TIMES I'VE LEFT MY DIGNITY IN A BLUE ROOM

Because it being recorded once isn't enough
  1. Every time I've had to dance.
    to Let's Get It Started by Black Eyed Peas
  2. Neutrogena
    Repeatedly splashing water on my face from a metal bowl and trying to make a face that doesn't resemble being waterboarded.
  3. Aveeno
    Sitting in a bra and underwear, rubbing my left shoulder with my right hand, sans lotion. The room is silent and all you can hear is the sound of skin on skin... For so so so long.
  4. Every time I've blown a kiss
  5. The old "pepper in the teeth" gag
    Or Seaweed Snacks
  6. Maybelline
    Maybe she's born with it, maybe she got really stoned during the day, and then got a last minute casting. No amount of eye drops will make your eyes open wide, because of course it's for mascara. #everybodyknows
  7. Old Navy
    During that weird mannequin phase, pre Amy Poehler and Julia Louis-Dreyfus
  8. Every time I've honestly answered "What do you do for fun?"