THINGS I DO THAT WILL GIVE ME AGE SPOTS
- •Habitually wash my face with 70% isopropyl rubbing alcohol unless I....
- •...get drunk and fall asleep with enough bronzer on to give me a skin color
- •Fall asleep under marquee lighting
- •Not use the Lush ejaculate formula my grandma got me two years ago
- •Leave charcoal masks on for ~2 hours
- •Take 115 degree Fahrenheit showers
- •Grow old every day