OVERHEARD AT WORK, 12/4/15

  1. Ooooo...I know what I'm doing for the next 30 seconds.
  2. Why are you bringing it to him?
  3. It's low hanging fruit Friday.
  4. They’re fun to hang out with, but they’re also total assholes.
  5. I'm overwhelmed already.
  6. Well, I'm excited, even if everyone else thinks it sucks.
  7. Should I text you that?
  8. Scratcher 1: I don't think I started it. Scratcher 2: Well, you definitely took it to the next level.
  9. Can I just interrupt you rudely?
  10. Train store! Let's go!
  11. I don't remember what it was, but I doubt its usefulness.
  12. Anybody want to see me with a huge beard at Stanford?
  13. Huh? What?
  14. Is that Emergen-C? I wanna drink some of that.
  15. I'm about to send some shit to Germany.
  16. Scratcher 1: The universe is trying to tell me something. Scratcher 2: Don’t make fun of me.
  17. Don’t, just don’t.
  18. What did I do? What just happened?
  19. It’s like a case study and shit.
  20. I’m hungry. I need more caffeine.
  21. I may have peaked too soon.
  22. All I want is also fries.
  23. My high school was designed by the same architect as the guy who did our county jail.
  24. Scratcher 1: What’s happening now? Scratcher 2: Chapstick.
  25. There are few heights that are bigger than I am.
  26. Scratcher 1: I don’t think hilarious is the word I would choose. Scratcher 2: I think hilarious is the word I have to choose.