THINGS SAID IN THE OFFICE TODAY

  1. I feel like you should not be admitting ignorance so openly.
  2. If someone paid me enough, I'd try it or figure it out.
  3. I'm such an asshole.
  4. Thanks Beyoncé, I got it the first time.
  5. Can I have the meatloaf with mayonnaise instead of gravy?
  6. The bubbles are a different size. I like a more refined bubble.
  7. Being down there got me a little lightheaded.
  8. You dissin' Parmigiano, you dissin' me.
  9. They are not coming correct with that menu.
  10. I've enough shots for the next three months.
  11. I'm talking at large.
  12. Thank you for being young and cool and creative.
  13. The big hot dogs gross me out. I'll eat three small ones.
  14. I can eat the total size of that shlong dog in pigs in a blanket, just not all at once.
  15. Anything that has "chon" in it is where it's at.
  16. Are you guys fighting about cheese?
  17. Don't laugh; I'm sensitive.
  18. It sounds like hanging out with a room full of your dad.
  19. He was super-egregiously wack.