A List About Lexapro (and Other Meds)

  1. The first time my mom gave me some of her Ativan I was 19 and flying to South Africa for a semester abroad. I was having anxiety attacks and couldn't sleep so she gave me one of her pills but cut it up into crumbs because she had anxiety but also anxiety about anxiety meds.
  2. In college I tried to get help for my OCD and anxiety and the school shrink put me on Zoloft and it made me feel like my body was trying to crawl out of my skin. I lasted a week.
  3. Tonight I began the process of going off Lexapro. I've been on it since December. I take 5mg a day. I guess instead of going off I could take more but I also think I'm ready to go off. I'm not sure how to make these decisions. I just feel ready.
  4. I asked my doctor for a Xanax prescription and she gave me one but was very, very hesitant about it. She kept telling me it's addictive. I'm not worried about it because I was raised by the aforementioned pill splitter.
  5. When my mom got terminal cancer she was handed all these glorious pain meds and she would cut them and take half the dose because she was worried about getting addicted to these pills WHILE SHE WAS DYING.
  6. When my mom got sick my entire family was popping Ativan like crazy because the anxiety of someone you love dying of cancer drowns you.
  7. But she rubbed off on me. I had neck spasms last year and the doctor gave me Vicodin and I never took it because that shit scares me.
  8. I went on the Lexapro because I was having so much anxiety over my job. I was a mess. Then I left my job and it subsided. My OCD is feeling manageable. I'm not sure if it actually does anything for me. TBH I'm almost scared to find out. Does that make sense? I'm also scared to go off it and then realize I was mistaken and need to go back on.
  9. I just took a naproxen, the patron saint of period cramps medicine.