Things I heard when I turned 23

July 23, 2015
  1. I was moody because I didn't have a swimsuit
    Jake
  2. I don't want to meet Frank Ocean like this
    Nolan
  3. What were you going to do with the yoga mat? Throw it at the cat?
    Alex & D'arby
  4. MY WEBSITE ISN'T OPTIMIZED FOR MOBILE
    Nolan
  5. If you don't think that guy is a superhero, he just bought me rare bourbon and gave me a pack of unopened gum
    Dave
  6. What are you, like nine?
    Dave
  7. Buy me some cookies that are fun
    Dad
  8. I mean if cake is involved you obviously will have a good time IT'S CAKE
    Megan
  9. You can put an avocado in your cereal; it's like a banana
    Grandma