HOW I LOST ALL THE TOES ON MY LEFT FOOT

In order
  1. 1.
    Middle toe
    Some girl tried to cut me in the porto-potty line at EDC in 2009. I was pissed so I said hey girl look down and was like flipping her off with my toe (she could see b/c I was wearing a gladiator sandal). She didn't like this.
  2. 2.
    Index toe
    This dumbass witch doctor I met in cabo found out I was making a voodoo doll of her (because I tweeted about it) she said if I apologized I could have it back but that is NOT happening
  3. 3.
    Pinkie toe
    This one was confusing b/c I dipped my foot into a litter box and when I came back out the pinkie toe was gone
  4. 4.
    Ring toe
    I don't want to talk about this one I'm still really upset about it
  5. 5.
    Big toe
    Drew a little face on it and baked it into a king cake :)