There's always that one line that you love so much but you can't work in casual chatter. Here's how.....
  1. When you meet someone named Anthony
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    "I have a nephew named Anfornee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfornee."
  2. When someone spills their drink, or doesn't remember their addition to a potluck, or does something rude, or otherwise let's you down.
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  3. When someone won't give you their wifi password.
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    "This house is a prison! On planet bullshit! In the galaxy of this sucks camel dick!"
  4. When someone mentions your preferred mode of travel.
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    "Boats, boats, boats!"
  5. When there's not enough work at the office and your boss says someone needs to go home early.
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    "I volunteer as tribute!"
  6. Anytime you agree with someone.
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    "Alright, alright, alright." (Obviously said in your best MM impression)
  7. When you're waiting outside Channing Tatum's LA movie premiere on a hot summer's day
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    "Some people are worth melting for."
  8. When you remember to bring home paper towels or toilet paper and your roommates give you a round of applause.
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    "I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everybody else."
  9. When someone takes you out on a fancy date and asks what you'd like.
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    "Pinot noir. Caviar. Mid sized car. Au revoir."
  10. Virtually any time you turn a corner.
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  11. When Chipotle asks if you know guac is extra.
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    "Please bore someone else with your questions."