MY NINE CIRCLES OF HELL

From least to most hellish.
  1. 1.
    A hairdresser continuously trying to have a conversation with me while simultaneously giving me a bad haircut and forcing me to look into the mirror and watch it happen.
  2. 2.
    Being in line at Trader Joe’s and the line never ends and old people keep running into me and everyone I pass is reading every single ingredient on every package they pick up.
  3. 3.
    The fire alarm going off in my apartment for no reason and I can’t stop it and all of my neighbors keep yelling to turn it off and the police come.
  4. 4.
    Listening to people talk shit about Taylor Swift and I am mute and can’t say anything to defend her.
  5. 5.
    Walking through Times Square while in a rush to get to a once in a lifetime event and none of the tourists will move faster even when I physically push them.
  6. 6.
    Watching baby sea turtles travel from being in eggs to the ocean and seeing them be massacred one by one.
  7. 7.
    My best friends being mad at me.
  8. 8.
    Hiking.
  9. 9.
    Being stuck on the subway with a snake.