THE REASON I DON'T WEAR GREEN ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY

It's justified, trust
  1. When I was a kid, we went to Catholic school
  2. At this school, we wore uniforms
    Kinda like this
  3. Twice a year, you got to dress out - your birthday and St. Patrick's Day (but you had to wear green)
  4. But not me
  5. Because my birthday IS St. Patrick's Day
  6. SO EVERYONE GOT TO DRESS OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY
    I mean, I'm not bitter or anything. Obviously.
  7. In protest of this fact, I never wore green, because I'm a rebel like that
  8. And it has carried on throughout my adult life
  9. Instead, I wear Irish jewelry and just make sure my hair is extra curly that day
  10. All because I wanted to have my own special birthday outfit just like everyone else...
  11. And that's why I don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day
    Fight me. But don't pinch me cuz I will straight up punch you in the face.