TOP 5 MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE

@joemurphy 'Cuz the Murphys basically funded the medical field in Atlanta.
  1. That time I snapped my femur in half
    I was six. I fell from the top of a tree and broke a branch on the way down. This is supposedly the most painful bone break you can experience. I dunno. I immediately went into shock and didn't feel a thing. #blessediguess
  2. That time I bruised the nerves in my arm and it was temporarily paralyzed
    Bouncing on a trampoline and landed with all my weight on my elbow-couldn't move my arm for a week. Trampolines are the devil's work.
  3. That time I jammed my finger playing basketball and the whole thing turned black
    That was just gross.
  4. That time I was pitching for my brother and he drilled me in the neck with a baseball
    I actually thought I was going to suffocate and die. And he just ran the bases. While I was motionless and curled in the fetal position on the ground. Not breathing. Because we are loving siblings and not competitive at all. Obviously.
  5. That time I ran into a door sill and sliced off the tip of my little toe
    Blood was everywhere. The air was thick with profanity. I didn't feel like going to the hospital so I just slathered it in Neosporin and wrapped it with medical tape and didn't look at it again for a week. Meh. Turned out ok. Stitches smitches.