WORLD ISSUES, RANKED

@marymurphy I took this semi-seriously... Yeah I know I curse a lot. Deal with it.
  1. ISIS
    These guys are just straight-up assholes. They're on a power trip, killing because they can, and they do not represent the tenets of Islam. How do we deal with them? I don't know man. Sometimes at work I daydream about being able to psychically identify and freeze all of them with my mind like Dr. Xavier... I'm not sure that's really a viable plan though...
  2. The Kardashians
    I understand that this one might be controversial.... But for real though. When there are more headlines in my newsfeed about what fucking coffee fucking Kimye ordered this morning, or how Scott's been crying lately, than there are about actual real-live news events around the world, it pisses me off. I could give two flying fucks what these entitled, clueless, non-contributing members of society are doing with their lives, and it greatly concerns me that so many people care so much.
  3. Gender Inequality
    There are a few things that, as a woman, piss me off. Institutionalized repression of women in many states across the world, normalization of violence against women, lack of education for many young girls in developing countries, child marriages, and pay disparities that are still present in Western society just boggle my mind. How is it that, in this day and age, any of this is still up for debate?
  4. Game of Thrones
    Let's be clear. I'm obsessed with this show. Obviously. The problem is that the time between seasons is like 5 years long, then there's only like 13 episodes, and then they fucking stab me in the back every season by fucking killing someone I love. I swear to God, if John Snow doesn't fucking come back, I will BURN EVERYTHING. But also, I truly believe that stress related to watching this show is contributing to current world events.
  5. Climate Change
    I fall kind of mid-line on this issue. Future generations of humans don't deserve to pay for our bad choices. But, humans are here to stay people, and we will keep advancing, so it's just not plausible to advocate that we stop all activities thought to be contributing to climate change. I have faith, however, that a doable combination of preventative actions and scientific innovations will solve this one day.
  6. Shia LaBouf
    Even Stevens-era Shia was hilarious. And I love Disturbia. Yes, I know it's cliche-full, lay off me about it. But then things got weird. Claiming that you've been sexually assaulted when you allowed a woman to do things to you because you weren't able to respond because it was part of an "art installation"... fuck off Shia. Get your shit together. We'll be waiting.
  7. Nuclear Weapons
    Judgement Day has not yet come John Conner. I just don't see the utility of having these kinds of weapons anymore. During the Cold War it was all about deterrence, and nuclear weapons did help to prevent multiple conflicts. But their use in any scenario in today's world is completely and utterly implausible, immoral and unethical. Add to that the fact that the US and Russia have massive stockpiles that are rapidly aging and degrading that will take trillions of dollars to overhaul. No thanks.
  8. The End of Sterek
    For all you noobs who don't know what I'm talking about, Sterek was the dynamic duo of Stiles and Derek on the critically acclaimed great American classic Teen Wolf. Derek hath departed from this fictional world, however, and the show is the lesser for it. Stereeeeeeeek....
  9. Immigration
    I believe in freedom of movement, self-determination, and the right to seek a better life for yourself and your family. But I also believe in the rule of law and holding people accountable to the rules and norms of their new country. The chaos of the Great Immigration in the EU, and continuing immigration concerns here in the US, signal the need for a major overhaul of immigration practices throughout the world. But completely open borders are not the answer.
  10. Fast & Furious 8
    Why is no one talking about this? Where is the outrage? THERE'S GOING TO BE AN 8TH FAST & FURIOUS. What the fuck could they possibly do that would be any different from the last five? Oh wait, will there be... fast cars and scantily dressed women?!?! DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. Just stop Vin Diesel. Stop. We get that you're not actually that good of an actor and this is the one thing you've got going for you right now. But stop.