(The most personal list thus far! YAY FOR FEELINGS. I'll probably/definitely delete it?)
  1. I don't know how to start this.
  2. Because I don't think there's a good way to start it.
  3. One of my (sort-of distant) relatives committed suicide this weekend?
  4. It's been sort of...terrible.
  5. And I should preface this by saying this doesn't directly affect me. I haven't seen this part of my family in lots of years.
  6. But.
  7. This does closely affect people I love and care about.
  8. They called to tell my 99-year-old great grandmother. They told her over the PHONE.
  9. Couldn't wait to deliver that news to someone else and have them tell her in person?
  10. The whole thing seems so selfish.
  11. Both the way things are being dealt with and the act itself.
  12. She left a husband and a son.
  13. Jacob, who is a person with autism, is about my age.
  14. He doesn't like it when doors in their house are locked and when he woke up in the morning one of the bathroom doors was locked.
  15. He went to get his dad, because he was upset that he couldn't open the door.
  16. I'm not sure if they've told him, or to what extent he'll understand it, at least right away.
  17. His mom was his sole caretaker.
  18. His dad is a pilot and now has to figure out how to take care of his son and also work a full-time job.
  19. My heart hurts for them. I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone that close to you. And I can't imagine what it would be like under these circumstances.
  20. I'm mad. And I'm frustrated. And I shouldn't be. I want to help, but there's nothing I can do or say.
  21. I don't know how to talk about this (and no one wants to talk about it), but I can't stop thinking about it.
  22. There isn't a nice, tidy ending for this.
  23. I just needed to say all of this and you guys are apparently going to be on the receiving end.
  24. Sorry for that.