Things I have said out loud for the first time since turning 36
I have the boldness of a much younger woman.
- •I am writing a novel.Didn't even feel like a douche.
- •I am not a very good driver.Just set women back fifty years.
- •I don't like sushi.Mind you — I still eat it because everyone else does and otherwise I might never talk to other humans.
- •I might never get married.Honestly, I suspect it would be more socially acceptable if I was divorced. Maybe I'll start telling people that.
- •I think Beyoncé is fine.Did you just hear something? Was it just me?
- •I watch a lot of television.This appears to be acceptable if you have kids and what you're watching is animated. Not the case here. Move along.
- •I don't understand Snapchat.Also can't use these tiny keys. Where are my dentures?