Things That Go Bump in the Night

Especially during windstorms
  1. Owls. One summer evening, the owls had a lovely conversation in the trees outside my window.
  2. Sofas. Don't you always run into the couch if you try to walk around in the middle of the night? How did it get there? Does furniture move itself while we are asleep?
  3. Drunks. We once lived across the street from a motorcycle gang. They were fine, except they had a party every weekend, and a couple would cross the street to have a "private" conversation. Always, boringly, the same one. "I wasn't flirting with him. (Whine, whine) Really. We were just talking. (Whine, whine) You know I love you."
  4. Trees. This tree broke during a storm and came down on the power line by our house. The power company now uses it as the poster tree in its ads about all they do for us.
  5. Cats. Only the cat is downstairs. What could he possibly be doing to make those noises? Maybe moving the furniture.
  6. Ghosts. I grew up in a house with poltergeists. They moved furniture in the attic of our house all night. Except, we had no attic.
  7. Toys. These also, mysteriously, appear underfoot at night. Usually more of a painful crunch than a bump.